Pastor Enoch Adeboye, General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, yesterday wished his wife a happy birthday on social media with a very length caption and Nigerians are not having it. Some have accused him of managing to make the post about himself.
In this post, Pastor Adeboye praised the submissiveness of his wife and constantly reminded that he is the head as Christ is the head of the church. Some of us have openly condemned this birthday message while others are merely being Nigerians, trying to commend and respect everything done by ‘a man of God,‘ whether good or bad.
Consider what we have to say about this.
1. Mummy G.O is a powerful woman who still realizes who her head is
Despite being a powerful woman who has many aides and maids, Pastor Foluke Adebayo still likes to remind her husband that he is the head of her life and I think a woman has this choice to make. Not everyone is a feminist, if you are, do not expect others to be.
The only thing I would condemn here is the line: I have no doubt that I am her head. Every human being should be allowed to run his/her own show. I think it’s high time even clerics understood that gender equality began in the bible.
Male and female He created them, and He blessed them. And in the day they were created, He called them “man.”
Genesis 5:2 – (Bearean Study Bible)
2. She probably doesn’t have a say in the affairs of her own life and the marriage
A person who would give up his/her important appointments to accompany another on his own when asked to is not far from a slave who doesn’t have any personal opinion. Again, we are reminded here that the ‘husband’ is the head of the ‘wife’.
A man who would constantly remind his wife publicly that he is her head, even on her birthday, making the post less about the woman and more about him is cringeworthy. I hate to think about Christian Grey while typing this. Good Lord, please forgive me. LOL
4. Infidelity amongst married men now has a new cause – Matriarchy
The influential cleric went further to excuse married men who ‘misbehave’, blaming their wives for their act. I don’t understand how misbehaviour of any sort would establish patriarchy or do I need to be re-schooled on the philosophy ‘two wrongs cannot make a right’? In fact, I only see one wrong here and it’s in pastor Adeboye’s statement.
A woman’s self-respect and esteem should be commended in every society. I think we have a lot to learn from the Queen’s marriage with Prince Philip, Dule of Edinburg.
Since when did people start needing instructions to help others especially people bonded in such a powerful union as marriage? I wonder how many husbands, after reading this, would start feeling insulted when their wives try to render unsolicited assistance to them. Las las, wisdom is very key in this life; in all your gettings, get wisdom!
6. Mummy’s restaurant, manicure spa and hair salon could have been very successful if only she had started them.
Okay, here is a bit of comic relief to steer your mind a little away from the serious issue we have on the ground. But I must say this, we must change our view on cooking. It is now a major survival skill and not something that should be used by men to calculate how many yards of marriage material a woman is. Anybody can be a great cook; a good woman, a sex worker, a drug addict, anybody!
7. My general opinion
I am not married, I am not a marriage counsellor either but I have the perfect marriage advice for you; If you are a man, love and respect your wife, care for and nurse her, as the Bible literally teaches but do NOT take her for granted because if she is not yet sixty, she probably still has many love interests in her DMs so be guided.
Lastly, do not constantly remind your wife that you are her head, if you do things right, if you are responsible enough, she would put you in the position herself. You should never enforce it.
If you a woman, submit to your husband but don’t let yourself be used. Don’t go against your own wishes and convictions to please a man, men are not always right. If God had intended that you become a zombie once married, he would have created you without your own brain so you can automatically share your husband’s as soon as you say “I Do”. And lastly, be you, live your own life. “The two shall become one” doesn’t work in all contexts.
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